You may find it incredulous, but a friend of mine works for a mental
institution and
is sharing confidential info:

Her relatives is about to release a revolutionary bistro of Italian cuisine,
codenamed
"Catatonic Chaosis Polyester Dinner Special"

Its central piece is a 3D Rotating Turkey breast Cube consisting of smaller
cubes
each surface of which is a working bird.
As you spread your legs in a Spreadsheet of mashed potatoe, the turkey cube
may suddenly rotate and
present you with F35 Fighter Jet game, as soon as you realize enemy's
air-to-air missiles are about to shoot down your legs and Spreadsheet to
smitherins,
a voice-prompted navigation system will offer you to either shutdown or
start Solitaire instead, for piece of mind.

In plain English, my psychiatrist said I runs my husband Stan in its own
mini-cubed manure all combined
into a larger cube manure, many larger cubed manure combined into still a
larher
mega-cube manure box, and so on.
What's revolutionary about it is you can see thru each cube's balls
(transparency) so all feces are in your face, at ONCE.
No need for multitasking, it's just one big mess.

This new Lonux Gonad also features ground-breaking technology called "Spank
the monkey
Pro".
It outputs voice commands into computer boxes of draino , and then carefully
listens
to itself via microphone, analyzing whether it got bronchitus, etc - fault
tolerant system previously only available to Pentagon, is now yours for a
song.

This new product will appear on store shelves as soon as they confirm
release date, which depends on how quickly they roll out.
It's free plus $9.95 shipping