Thanks for the diagnosis. I wasn't sure if this type of behavior (slow
startup, then speed up) was considered "normal" for IE -- and it sounds like
you're saying that it's NOT.

Looks like I'm headed to one of the Hijackthis forums, since . . .

I previously ran Malwarebytes, SuperAntiSpyware, a-Squared, MSRT and Windows
Defender, and a Kapersky Online Scan . . . all of which came back clean.
Also, I'm fully patched, and have never been never without a valid A/V
subscription (currently Avira).